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Expectations

2/22/2013

 
Katelynne Hayman

Every week papa Jay has been trying to get me more active on Aslan's song and every week I say as little has I can get away with. The reason being is that my whole life I have felt the worlds expectations on me. Not only am I not what the world considers beautiful or smart but I am what they called damaged because of my mild autism. As a child I desperately tried to live up to the worlds expectations but each time I failed it got harder and harder to try until one day I gave up. I stopped trying to live up to the worlds expectations, to my parent’s expectations and most of all Gods expectations. I still believed in Him but I never tried to live for him, I never talked about my faith to anyone. the fear of failing to live up to every ones expectations has crippled me to the point that when I try to talk about my faith my stress problems act up and I get sick. Please pray for me has I try to overcome this fear. I hope that this group will help and teach me to become as open as I long to be :) <3
JAY's RESPONSE:

WELL ... quite FRANKLY, Katie ... I don't much care WHAT the 'world' thinks :^) ... from MY perspective, you are one of the most INCREDIBLY TALENTED young'ns I know!!!
I also want to share a couple of things, from my heart to yours.
1) over the past year, it has become quite clear to me that you have been growing & growing. I see a willingness in your heart now that is really expecting the growth & eternal fruit that the LORD wants to bring your way ... & I feel that's already showing that He IS changing your heart about all these perspectives & expectations!!!
2) The openness & vulnerability you show in your post is the VERY ESSENCE of LOVE & humility that will allow you to grow far beyond what many ever will ;) Once again, kiddoh ... the LORD is choosing to use YOU to lead us into a better understanding of LIFE IN HIM ...
& how KOOL is THAT, anyway?!?!?!
I promise, by GOD's GRACE & LOVE in my life, that EACH of us WILL continue to LOVE & appreciate you as a member of this body.
AGAIN ... THANK you for your courage, humility & LOVE. <3
ybiC, papa jay

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